Jackpot

I was having a particularly bad night, as my PMDD was flaring up. I took to my favorite mental health app, Youper. As I perused past entries, it occurred to me, this was data.

Low and behold, I ventured to the settings to find "download your data".

Kindly, though not surprisingly (as my darkest thoughts and feelings since 2019 is as sensitive data as it gets, in m book!), I was able to download it immediately, as opposed to requesting it from some unknown fella in the data department. Who, in my opinion, normally sends back some jargon about a bunch of steps I need to take first (that I will never do).

So I downloaded this data, and to my disbelief, suddenly, I had a text file of all the times I turned to this mental health app for help. The app already has its own visualizations, for example, all the times I've mentioned "happy", it references what it was that made me "happy". It also tells me in general how bad or good a month was. At first I was extremely alarmed by this, it occurred to me that in the last few years I've only turned to this app when I was deeply anxious or sad (due to its AI capabilities of walking me logically through my mood). There was one time at the beginning of 2021 where I set a goal of logging in the app every day, and that accounts for why 2021 looked like a much more proper representation of all moods, happy, even, while this year looked especially dismal.

What am I going to do with this massive (potentially life ruining) txt file of my thoughts when I was at the lowest points of my life 2018 - 2024? Stay tuned.